Friday, May 17, 2013

The Hyde Family Grows

The title is true.

I never thought this post would happen. Mark and I have always felt very content with our family and love our boys so very deeply that expanding our family never crossed our minds. Even if we wanted to expand our family, my history with carrying babies is not exactly a great one. After delivering Will at 32 weeks and spending 10 weeks on bed rest with Cooper, we, along with numerous doctors, have gently suggested we not have more biological children. This warning was given to us after delivering Will; she said we would never carry full term. I didn't like what she said and I found a new doctor. A new doctor who took every precaution possible to carry full term but God had other plans for our boy. In the hallway of the house at 30 weeks pregnant I knew it was happening again, and it was. Dilated to a 3, I was given a round of steroids to develop Coopers lungs and heart medication trying to control my contractions, which by the way did not. I went on bed rest...with a 3 year old in the house. We made it to 39 weeks and 5 days and at one point they didn't think Cooper would come without being induced. He did, our healthy 8 pound baby boy!

So what is all that? Well its our babies story. A story I thought for a long time was finished. We couldn't have more children, that was Gods plan and life would go on...right? No. I wonder sometimes if we have complicated pregnancies to get us to where we are now. The plan the Lord has for my life, Mark's and my boys' is something truly only He could have written.

Journal Entry: April 5th, 2012- I met Lucy

As this precious girl gingerly walked across the room and tugged on my pants, I quickly picked her up. She weighed nothing compared to Cooper who is the same age. She had on the sweetest bow and just looked at me like she had the ability to talk to my heart. And she did because, at that moment I wasn't just holding a little girl, I was holding my future. See Lucy is something special. Not only is she one of my closest friends daughters and sister to one of Will's best friends; she's a child of the One True King and made her way to Oklahoma all the way from Ghana, Africa.

After meeting Lucy, days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months and, as I struggled to process the feelings I was having, I finally let it go and just surrendered the confusion and struggle to the Lord and knew He was calling me: calling me to walk boldly in faith, to surrender my plan and my heart and just walk. He was calling me to adopt.

From June 14, 2012 to March 17, 2013 my journal is empty, it was a rough time. I didn't have anything to journal about but looking back now I was still walking in my calling by the Lord but I had forgotten I needed to walk with one other person. The Lord needed to work in Mark.

When I told Mark I wanted to adopt it was through a stream of tears and ugly crying, I'm sure I looked/sounded crazy. I would tell him I believe I'm being called to adopt. I would sob for hours at times, telling him about the hole that had been created in my heart and my fear of it never going away. Mark questioned lots of things, all from a logical standpoint. How can we afford to adopt ($40,000)? Can we provide for another child the way we can provide for the boys? What does this do to our family dynamic? How does a new child affect the two we have? Do we have enough of us to go around? The list went on and in the logical portion of my head I totally understood. Adoption is expensive and what about the strain on the boys and us as a family? But after it would all settle I would be pulled to a quote on the playroom wall..."It is true that God may have called you to be exactly where you are. But it is absolutely vital to grasp that He didn't call you there so you could settle in and live your life in comfort and superficial peace."

Man I like comfortable, I really do. Mark's business was going great, we were in the middle of planning a Disney vacation, Will attends a private Christian school which cost money and I had finally found new hobbies, wonderful new friends and a new church that we love and feel like we finally 'belong' to. Some might say I had just awoken after a long winters nap. For the first time we were in the place I always thought we'd be in. But comfortable isn't where God wanted us. He wants our family walking in faith, growing together and opening our eyes to the world around us. A world outside of west Norman, outside Oklahoma and outside of the US.

I knew we were called to adoption but I didn't know where. As I prayed for Mark's heart to open to adoption I prayed he would be drawn to a country. In the spring he comes to me and says Haiti, its Haiti. Praise the Lord for opening a mans heart who thought his wife was crazy, he still probably does. Praise the Lord for putting an ache in my heart, this moment was worth all the tears and heartache.

Haiti here we come...or not. Things happen for a reason and numerous reasons don't allow the Haiti door to open for us. Haitian law says you must be married for 10 years and no biological kids. When He shuts a door, he opens a window.

I've always leaned towards Africa, maybe because of Lucy or maybe because God was leading me there. Africa has numerous countries open to adoption, Ethiopia, Uganda, Ghana and Congo were all choices. In true faith fashion, the Lord spoke Congo to me; the Democratic Republic of Congo to be exact. Congo is considered the poorest and more forgotten nation in the world, its deemed the worst place to be a woman, its been in civil war since the mid 90's with 5,000,000 orphans and close to 5.4 million people have died since their war began. I didn't mistype that. That is like the entire population of Scotland! It's not a good place- mostly because of the poverty there but eastern Congo is considered by many to be the most dangerous place in the entire world.

When you tell your husband whose recently opened his heart to adopting that you want to adopt from Africa, its one thing. Its another to say I believe the Lord is calling us to go to Congo, the most dangerous place in the world. But he's a good man and a Godly man and after days/weeks of prayer he says lets go. I asked him a hundred times, are you sure? You are saying you will travel to Africa to pick her up? You can't change your mind. He calmly reassured me he was all in. He had always said that, it may take me more time but when I'm in I'm all in.

So that's were we are today. We are adopting a little girl from the Democratic Republic of Congo, who will fall in birth order, meaning she will be younger than Cooper. Due to the nature of international adoption, information on the Internet will be minimal, but we would love to share in person.

The Hyde family grows, a place in our hearts grows today and we can't wait until she is here to hold.

Where does that leave you? Glad you asked. Well you can pray for our daughter, our family, the government in Congo, those caring for our girl. The next time you see us you'll probably get this


It's a prayer card. We hope you will partner with our family as we go on this journey to meet our daughter. My dear friend who is also an adoptive momma said it best, this is a God-sized adventure, and shes 100% right.

To this point, the journey is still in its infancy. We've signed with an agency and have completed our home study visits. We are hopeful we will  have a written home study in the coming weeks that we will send to USCIS for finger prints and to gain Pre-Approval of an Orphan VISA. (Don't worry, I get lost in the jargon daily). The Lord has faithfully provided Mark with lots of work and great clients and we have been able to pay for the first 1/4 our total fees ourselves. There's just no way around the fact that adopting is expensive. In late summer we will be hosting a fundraiser- a garage sale. If you have stuff in your garage, house, closet, shed that needs to disappear please let us know. We would be thankful to take it off your hands because the key to a good garage sale is stuff. Also, we will be selling adoption T-shirts in the near future and Mark is hosting a golf tournament in September. Be on the lookout for details on those and a couple of more fun fundraisers.

Please feel free to ask us questions about our process, where we are, whats going on; we are excited to share.

We pray you will join us on this journey, we pray you will share this journey with your friends and family. It takes a village and we pray you will be apart of ours.


Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17



4 comments:

Unknown said...

We are so excited for your expanding famliy!We are grateful to go on this journey with you. We will pray, help, babysit, golf(well that may be pushing it;) and supply you with some beautiful stuff for your garage sale. Let us know your needs and your prayer requests. Congratulations on this exciting journey. We can't wait to meet your newest angel!

Mary Morrow said...

***HAPPY SQUEAL!!!!!***
(picture me jumping up & down and crying happy tears)

LB said...

Amazing!! Awesome!!! So happy for you guys. This makes my heart swell and gives me goosebumps! And I'm sure I have stuff to contribute to the garage sale. I need to purge. (Always in need of that!)

The Hyde Family said...

Thanks guys!!! Erin you have been a constant support and I'm so thankful. Mary I'm so thankful for you, I couldn't have made it waiting for Julia to come home without you. Laura thank you so much for your kind words, I love that you are excited!! Bring it on girl, let's fill this garage up. Would love to chat sometime soon.